my head aches as much as my heart

listen to elliott smith when you are dying; it makes the process faster.

there are things that happen in life that make you realize mom is always right: people like to see you down and kick you while you're down.

"today could not have been a better day." i wish you could see my sarcastic face and hear my sarcastic tone in saying that.

i can't wait to leave fullerton, southern california, actually california for that matter. i can't want to leave this place that retains a retched stench and is constantly beating down on my heart from every direction: friends, family, "supposed" boyfriends, strangers. i am just tired of it. i am tired of feeling suffocated and wishing time could stop.

the only reason i stopped crying for a moment was because i thought about the ridiculousness of me, laying in aubrey and michael's bed, watching a television program starring william shatner at 11:30 pm on a tuesday evening.

i know of a plain and simple "action" to rid of all these problems, but let me give you a list of possibilities.

1. i know a liquor store that doesn't card
2. besides the supposed migraine medication, i can take three tylenol to subdue the pain that resides all over my body.
3. prayer
4. drop out of school and join the circus (and i state this one in all seriousness).

obviously, number 3 should be the only possibility, but i will be honest with you, options 1,2,4 are tempting and produce faster results.

i can't tell you why i am ranting in some internet text box rather than a written journal... maybe it is because there is thrill in the thought that someone would actually read this. so, that may lead to the two possible conclusions about this blog post: that this post may be over-dramatic and ridiculous due to this fact or actually authentic. you are the reader, you decide.